Motherhood and miscellaneous...

Thank you to those of you who have tried to "comment" but were unable. I did not realize that I had to go into the blog settings to permit comments from anyone other than google/gmail users. Everyone should be able to comment now. Would love to hear from you all.

I've returned to work now for two weeks. My doctor permitted me to return to only a 30 hour work week for the first two. I came home exhausted every night. As my mom and I laugh about all of the time, all I've talked about for 3 months are boobs and poop; therefore, returning to the language of million dollar grants, contracts and clinical trials has proved challenging, to say the least. Tomorrow I return to my regular schedule.

Even more difficult than using my brain again has been the process of leaving Lilly behind. I am so incredibly fortunate to have a wonderful lady caring for her in her home...I do not worry about Lilly's safety at all. In fact, when Saty (sitter's name) greets her each morning, Lilly turns to her and grins! Saty is the mother-in-law of a woman with whom I work. They are a sweet, traditional Phillipino family with an 8 year-old son, Toby. He absolutely adores Lilly - Saty has to run him off b/c he always wants to kiss Lilly's forehead. They are the only 3 there in the daytime. Lilly is perfectly content there, but it makes me so sad to leave her. I'm not sure I could be a stay at home mom, but I sure would enjoy not having to drop her off every day. Most have told me that it gets easier each day - but I have found it more difficult with each passing day. Every day she grows and changes, developing more of a cute personality. It's tough to not be with her. I'm so afraid I'm going to miss something.

Missing her and being neurotic about being away from her doesn't surprise me, though. Remember how nuts I was about Elroy? Geeeez. Here are some things about motherhood that have surprised me.

How short 24 hours really is...
How natural it feels to want/have my mom around...
How important a single hour of sleep can be...
How spontaneous I used to be & how long it takes to prepare to do anything now...
How difficult it is/was to breastfeed (b/c she's preemie)...
How quickly Lilly's fingernails grow...
How everyone has advice and none of it is consistent...
How things that used to make me gag don't even phase me now - I wish I had a dollar for each time I've cleaned poop out of my fingernails, pulled ear wax out of an ear, picked boogers, wiped eye snot, caught poop in my hands, etc. I will, however, admit to still sticking my nose under my shirt for the worst diaper loads! I love my child, but P-U.

My health seems to be improving. Still having the high blood pressure, slow thyroid and too-rapid heart beat, but generally feeling better. My medicine cabinet looks like a pharmacy!

Thanks for reading! Love to you all! Here's another 3 month picture of my angel!